Dear Scotland, how about you join Romania?

My dearest young country,

we hear you’re fed up with England. We understand the pain you’re going through, looking at breakup and separation after all these years. Yet, we couldn’t agree more that it is the sensible thing to do. England did not deserve you.

Not with them drinking your whiskey and laugh behind your back, while you’re doing the dishes. Definitely not.

We also understand that this is a time for sorrow and retreat. A time to think things over and imagine how your future life will be. We know. This is also the time any newly liberated country will say “I’ll stay single from now on. Independence is so much better”.

It looks better for the first two weeks, that’s for sure. It happened to us too, some years ago, when we broke up with the former Eastern Bloc. Yes, it was an arranged marriage, so it was easier. Still, we missed all those Ladas for a while. And the vodka.

But let’s face it. You’re a young country in a cruel world. There are a lot of bad guys out there. Think about it: what if you meet Iraq, or Norway in a dark alley, after a night of binge drinking at the UN? Would it be wise to be unaccompanied? Or would you be better of having somebody at your side, ready to chase the villains away?

Yes. You do. Let’s be rational, if one cannot be (yet ) emotional.

You need somebody like us.

We need somebody like you.

It’s not much, but we can build from here. And love will come eventually, after we got to know each other better.

Say what? Oh, we’re sorry. We forgot to introduce ourselves. We’re Romania. And we would very much like you to join us to form a single country! I’ll spare the details, no pressure here…

Now, we know we don’t have a lot of things in common, except for a bitter experience with the English and a shared love for strong liquor. But that’s a start. We know territories that got together for even less. Think Russia and East Ukraine. Better yet, don’t!

You don’t have to answer now. Take your time. It’s your time for decision making and grieving. But it’s also a time to make plans. Talk to Transylvania. Or just come over to Dracula’s castle. It’s not much there in terms of accommodation, but they’ll only suck your blood, not your bank account.

So, we’ll see you, right?

Yours, truly,

Republic of Romania

P.S. Don’t worry about Prince Charles buying property here and actually enjoying the place. It’s just a fling. You’re much better than that. You know it.

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8 comentarii

  1. Got your drift, Lucian. But it’s terribly far fetched to say the least. The Scots I’ve met in my 20 years away, are regular guys, not like us, yaknow?! 😉
    And yes indeed, the Romanians did learn English during my time out…so much so that they mix it with our language and it became almost official.
    And yet, get someone who knows English to proofread this text, ‘cos you got carried away with the idea of Scottish-Romanian sisterhood so badly that you dropped a few bombshells here and there.
    See ya! 😉

  2. he actually wrote it very well. speaking as a bi-lingual native of romanian and english he has not made that many mistakes and you can taste the irony…why are people so ready to shit on someone else’s work. could you have done better?

  3. Catalina, the guts you have to ‘sprinkle’ your public short text with stinky ‘jellybeans’ at your young age renders no value to your ‘bilingualism’.

    Lucian’s article is wrong in so many more ways than just language! You may ‘taste the irony’ all you want. It just proves your self-acclaimed passion for writing does not hold much value due to outstanding lack of information.

    So YOU could have done better keeping the ‘pearls’ to yourself.

    Lucian, dacă ‘pixu’n ghips’ e ‘measly’, încearcă sa traduci ‘ca nuca’n perete’! Poate-ti place mai mult. 😉

  4. I’m happy in a special way today, and proud that I’m living here. A true nation who knows to stay unite.
    I’m happy with the answer “no” for Scotish independence!
    God bless United Kingdom!

    • Ceea ce nu exclude dragostea mea pentru Romania.
      Spun asta, pentru ca acest mesaj al meu pe facebook a facut ca un (fost) prieten sa inceapa sa ma injure. Ajung pietrele lui.

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